Growing up my father always told us "you have to be responsible for your actions"; "you have to be accountable"! This was a life mantra for me.
My parents always gave my sister and I the freedom to do what we wanted. My parents would give their views / opinions, ideas / suggestions but finally left us to decide - be it education, be it our career or our life partners.
It was this accountability that made me avoid the responsibility of motherhood.
We are conditioned, to "settle" through marriage and then children. Many are not even ready to take on the responsibility of bringing up a child but are pushed to do it due to societal pressure - a decision they regret although will not admit.
I was very clear that I wanted to have a successful career - my definition of success was the usual - money, designation, etc. and I believed that I would not do justice to both my career and the child which was one of the primary reason's to not have a child.
I was very aware of the impact of over population on our resources - both natural and economical.
The evidence was getting more and more clear that adding to the already burgeoning population was clearly a choice and not a mandate.
When I decided to get married, I told my prospective husband my decision to not have a child. I also told him that if I decided to - we could choose to adopt. Even at that point of time, I was not willing to bring another life into this world - it was clearly over crowded. I was fortunate that he was supportive and gave me the freedom to make this choice.
Every 2 or 3 yrs, I would have a conversation with him, if he wanted to have a child (thinking to myself that if he did, then maybe I might think about it), but his response was always negative and I could not have been happier.
It is high time we make choices and be responsible for the lives we create. You don't need to have your own child to be a parent. You can always choose to adopt!
My parents always gave my sister and I the freedom to do what we wanted. My parents would give their views / opinions, ideas / suggestions but finally left us to decide - be it education, be it our career or our life partners.
It was this accountability that made me avoid the responsibility of motherhood.
We are conditioned, to "settle" through marriage and then children. Many are not even ready to take on the responsibility of bringing up a child but are pushed to do it due to societal pressure - a decision they regret although will not admit.
I was very clear that I wanted to have a successful career - my definition of success was the usual - money, designation, etc. and I believed that I would not do justice to both my career and the child which was one of the primary reason's to not have a child.
I was very aware of the impact of over population on our resources - both natural and economical.
The evidence was getting more and more clear that adding to the already burgeoning population was clearly a choice and not a mandate.
When I decided to get married, I told my prospective husband my decision to not have a child. I also told him that if I decided to - we could choose to adopt. Even at that point of time, I was not willing to bring another life into this world - it was clearly over crowded. I was fortunate that he was supportive and gave me the freedom to make this choice.
Every 2 or 3 yrs, I would have a conversation with him, if he wanted to have a child (thinking to myself that if he did, then maybe I might think about it), but his response was always negative and I could not have been happier.
It is high time we make choices and be responsible for the lives we create. You don't need to have your own child to be a parent. You can always choose to adopt!
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